Life still feels like it’s a little on 2.0x speed, so I thought I’d have a bit of fun with today's email.

Apologies to the non-footy fans here, but you probably still know of 6ft 7in Mr. Crouch.

Run with me on this one if you can…

Liv & I are suckers for sports documentaries.

Some of our favourites:

• 6 Nations
• Drive to Survive
• Full Swing
• The Last Dance (Michael Jordan)
• Welcome to Wrexham

This week, we watched That Peter Crouch Film—over two sittings—in our prime pre-bed TV slot.

It was thoroughly enjoyable, laced with humour, depth, and nostalgia.

A few things that stood out for me:

• Him getting pushed by his dad, which he struggled with at the time but came to really appreciate looking back. I had a similar experience with my own.
• The 19-game Liverpool goal drought—the sense of relief and fervour when he finally scored, a spawny deflected strike, aha!
• The Robot salvation—you’ll have to watch to see why this goofy dance became such a defining moment in his career...

Now, where do cows come into this?

Seth Godin's Purple Cow, released in 2003, emphasizes that to succeed in marketing, a product or idea must be remarkable—so eye-catching it would be like spotting a purple cow among an ordinary herd.

Writing a book is a bit like that.

Roughly 2,200,000 to 2,700,000 books are published worldwide each year, including both traditional and self-published titles. Of varying quality, I must say.

Being unique might immediately sound like finding a needle in a haystack.

Or is it?

Now, I don’t think there are cows in the rainforest…

By the way, this is the sort of thing Kathy & I have had to fact-check during the editing process. 😆

Well, I’m pretty sure there are no purple ones. I also don’t have a robot dance that will be watched worldwide.

However, I do have:

• Monkeys! Some with bright red or green patches of fur.
• A book that took 6+ years to write—not a guarantee of quality, but at least proof it wasn’t rushed. It has some steak as well as sizzle (marketing).
• A story loosely based on personal experience—leaving corporate law and going backpacking—which I hope gives it depth.
• In-lore quotes (epigraphs) at the start of each chapter—more common in non-fiction but used effectively in Dune.
• An editor who genuinely resonated with the story and sprinkled magic dust onto it.
• An 👁catching cover (thanks to Mark Horton).
• A trilogy that will be finished. Ahem, a few incredible writers struggled with this one.

I’m not saying any of this is enough to stand out among 2 million books.

And yet, I can also be proud that I gave it a good go. It’s not your classic debut fantasy novel, even if no purple was used. Funnily enough, an old flame once told me I could never wear purple—I just didn’t look good in it…

Anyway, I digress.

What was heartwarming about Crouchy was how, in his early days, his height was an encumbrance. He was ridiculed. He was ostracised.

But by the end, he had the most headed goals in Premier League history (despite not being “that good in the air”), a lovely wife and family, an award-winning podcast, and he even sold out Wembley Arena—just for being himself.

Could we all take a leaf out of Crouchy’s book and lean more into our quirks, idiosyncrasies, and what makes us stand out from the crowd?

What makes us human.

As I said, today’s email was just a bit of fun—thanks for bearing with me.

Now, I need to get back to Book 2 edits, brunch, an Onscreen Magazine feature on the upcoming F1 film, sorting my own car insurance, Liverpool v City, and cleaning the bathroom.

Have a good Sunday,

– J. R. Roberts

​​P.S. A few of you have said you’re reading The Monkey State​​ or planning to start soon. Please don’t feel any obligation. No rush. Hang comfy. I’m a slow (fiction) reader myself. The green monkeys are ready if/when you are. Sales are currently at 148. So if you fancy buying an extra to gift to a friend or family member, to push it to 150, I (Amazon) won’t say no 🤖🐵